Ah, Face Tune: a topic that has caused so much controversy for so many acne-scarred teens and adults alike. Joking aside, this was something I had to take time to think about. I began to write this a month ago, but couldn't figure out exactly how I wanted to put it.
I have had pretty bad skin for quite a few years now, and there was an extended period of time last summer where I considered whether or not I wanted to use this app that had the ability to give me the skin that all my friends have, the face of my dreams. But I had to ask myself -- Are these the kinds of images that I want representing me? Do they actually reflect things that I value? I did give into my insecurity and use Face Tune once because of how embarrassed I was about myself. Even after posting the photo (which is actually still on my Instagram), I could immediately feel its ramifications. This seemed to go beyond what I want my brand to promote, or Instagram-induced depression, or even beyond the fact that it is a fake and fabricated version of myself. It was a clear and deliberate effort on my part to change something about myself that isn't inherently wrong. I realized that I don't want to become that kind of person. Face Tune or Photoshop do not at all relate to bettering ourselves. If you have an attitude problem or a gossip problem, then yeah, you may want to change that. But there's nothing wrong or evil about having acne, just like there's nothing wrong with having a speech impediment or hearing aids or large thighs. If we get into the habit of changing parts of us that we don't like, then we get locked into a cycle of being unsatisfied with who we are, changing ourselves on a screen so that people whose opinions don't actually matter see us in a better light, and then hating on ourselves because that 'better light' doesn't even exist in real life. I wrote a whole essay on Instagram and fantasy lives, y'all, I'm not messing around. (But on a semi-related note -- If you're really that upset with your body, have you made any positive life changes because of it? Are you eating healthy? Are you exercising?) It may not seem like a big deal, but it is. It's a problem that people are okay with this. Straight up, if I Face Tuned every picture that I post of my face, I would be failing myself. Don't fail yourselves. Rather, think about what you love about yourself, and love it even more. Here's a hot take for you: constantly verbalizing the things you don't like about yourself doesn't make you strong or self-aware, and complimenting yourself doesn't make you narcissistic. Write down three things that you really value about your personality, your dreams, or (Heaven forbid) your looks. I love my imagination. I love my work ethic. I love my eyes. Write encouragements on your mirror or stick some inside your car. You have to make the conscious decision to change the way you think about yourself, because no one else can do that for you. Get off your butt and actually make a change. Once you do, I promise it's worth it.
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So I have this obsession right now with putting outfits together that should maybe not go together, specifically because they consist of pairing fancy pieces with casual accessories. I'm pretty sure this started after I saw Emma Roberts' sparkly green dress and Adidas sneakers in 2017's Nerve. It was a show-stopping moment, believe me.
The idea that it feels like I can't be both feminine and powerful probably comes from my constant self-doubt. There's always going to be parts of me that feel like I'm not as strong or deep as the women I look up to because I love glitter and pop music and cappuccinos. And pearls and Instagram and romcoms.... Well LISTEN UP LADIES because that's not true. We get to defy ALL the stereotypes when it comes to what we want to do in our own lives. If that means you love to watch slasher movies while you paint your nails, or listen to rap music while wearing your best dress (like me, hehe), we can do whatever we want. 99.9% of the time that I think I need to be a certain way, I'm feeling the constraints of a box that I literally put myself in. (They do say you're your own worst enemy). My original title for this piece -- the placeholder, if you will -- was "pink vs. power" and I think that perfectly encompasses everything that I'm trying to say. There seems to be a constant tension between being girly, where you're catty/materialistic/innocent, or you're a powerhouse, in which case you're too caught up in saving the world to care about your appearance. You can either be Cinderella or Mulan. Katniss Everdeen or Elle Woods. Okay, so, I'm grossly generalizing women here (exaggerating is like my thing. It's such a bad habit) but you can't deny that society has set us up to think that a woman can't be resilient, or protective, or muscular if it means her favorite color is pink. This topic was mentioned today in my gender and identity class of all places, when my professor was talking about Eve being created as Adam's ezer, or in (horribly translated) English, his 'help-mate'. I know as soon as you see 'help-mate' you're thinking about June Cleaver, but hold on one second there pal. While an ezer is mentioned in the Bible many times, it is usually only referring to two things: woman, and God coming to the aid of His people. That means that when we're called to be girlfriends or wives or sisters or even friends, then we are called to join our boys in BATTLE. I need to write a whole other post on this topic because WOW do I get fired up about it. So we're called to be radiant and kickbutt and lovely and warriors all in one. Get ready, because you better believe I'm showing up to fight in some Givenchy heels. There's a reason my tagline is "lightning and daisies." I want every woman to feel like she can be powerful and delicate, and that they don't cancel each other out. Every January, instead of a resolution, my mom picks a word that she wants to focus on for the year. I like this very much, and this year, mine will be two-fold. Maybe "glow" and "strong," or "sparkle" and "conquer". We'll just have to see. You're probably familiar with some of the biggest titles in entertainment recently: Dear Evan Hansen, 13 Reasons Why and even lesser-known movies such as Netflix's A Girl Like Her. (I watched A Girl Like Her last week and it WRECKED me.)
Let me start off with this. I love that bullying has become such a topic of conversation, because it needs to be talked about. Good for the people responsible for putting these movies, shows, and musicals out so that the conversations can be had. The only problem I have with these movies (etc) is this: We need to stop getting caught up in how beautiful the stories are or how cute Ben Platt is. Bullying is not a romantic issue, nor should it be treated as such in the real world. If your only experience with bullying is these movies, and you've never been made fun of or felt ostracized, I can tell you that it sucks. And it's not "just teasing" if the person being teased doesn't find it funny. People are so concerned with tweeting, sharing a FaceBook post, or posting on Instagram about how terrible bullying is, but nine times out of ten, someone witnessing bullying will just walk away. Or even worse, the proponent for anti-bullying is the one acting like a bully. My sister and I were just discussing how it seems like no one actually cares. We talk behind people's backs, we put each other down (emotionally, and sometimes physically), we call people names, we let the new people sit by themselves instead of venturing away from our clique, because being awkward and alone looks awful and we don't want to deal with that. But it's the right thing to do. That fact alone should propel us to help others. Standing up for someone is inconvenient, sometimes scary, and not fun. It probably won't end in you falling in love with the victim, nor will there be a beautiful soundtrack over top of your epic showdown with evil. But knowing that you helped someone is such a unique and great feeling. Making someone feel small the way that bullies do is unacceptable and we need to act like we care. Waiting around for someone else to do a good deed is just wasting time. YOU can be the person that steps in. Helping someone out in a situation like this will help them be more confident, and you'll doubtlessly get a new friend. Who cares if they aren't the popular kid? They deserve the same treatment everyone else demands. Wouldn't you want someone to step in for you? |
AuthorI am a September baby, which may be the root of my love for fall. I love dark chocolate, popcorn, and I do actually like brussel sprouts. I'm the kind of person that listens to a Christmas song in September. (But only one. I don't want to ruin the ~magic~). Archives
May 2019
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