Being in London has meant a lot of alone time. I have my own room and bathroom. I spent a lot of time in classes without anyone I knew. And on the days I had my internship, I was so tired that I would come straight home from work.
This has left me a lot of time to spend with Jesus. That being said, I definitely do not spend enough time with Him. If I'm being honest, I get into this cycle of feeling good on my own, getting wrapped up in my hopes and dreams and plans, and kind of forgetting that He's there. Nevertheless, He still welcomes me with open arms and continues to teach me. So here's what I've been learning. 1. A Garland of Crowns I was doing a plan with She Reads Truth on Job, and something about reading Job 38 this time around really got my attention. When I began, the page in my Bible was basically blank, but if you look at it now, there are countless notes and highlights and circles. By this point, Job has lost his children, his home, his business, his friends, and his health, and he's wondering why out of all people, he should have to suffer like this. Chapter 38 is God's response. I love how much authority is in all of the LORD's statements, that this is His final word, and there is no need for further conversation. Even though these questions are directed at Job, I feel like they're also pointed towards me and my controlling nature. Where was I when the earth was created? (vs. 4) Have I allowed the dawn and the sunrise to know exactly when they're supposed to happen? (vs. 12) Have I seen the gates of death, or walked the bottom of the ocean, or told lightning where to strike, or led forth constellations? Yeah...no. I love how these questions reveal how vast and grand God is, yet how detailed and observant He chooses to be. God asks Job if he is able to lead forth Mazzaroth in their season (vs. 32), which many scholars think is a constellation. It roughly translates to 'garland of crowns' and I think that is so poetic. (God's creativity really comes through in places like this and I am HERE FOR IT.) God is not a Santa Claus that we only come to when we want something or a teddy bear that we only pray to when we think we've been wronged. That is focusing too much on ourselves. He is so powerful, so wise, so expansive, incomprehensibly good and just and loving and so many other things that I cannot even put into words. I could spend this entire post just talking about adjectives of God!! Wow He is so good and so in control of my life, of politics, of my safety. It's something I need constant reminder of. 2. House on a Hill When I say that 'House on a Hill,' the title track of Amanda Cook's newest album, wrecked me, I am not exaggerating in the slightest. I sat at my desk crying my eyes out for a solid half hour. I really recommend that everyone listen to it. It was a much-needed reminder that God doesn't "put up" with anything about me. It was a reminder that He is everything I need, and that when I follow Him, everything else really does fall into place. He comes to our own personal houses on our own personal hills and meets us in our depression, our loneliness, and our embarrassment and walks with us as we deal with them. Um...hello?! What kind of all-powerful king and God does that?! Having the song itself be so slow and peaceful makes listening to it an act of rest. It's beautiful. 3. Sunday's Coming Since I've come to London, I've been attending one of the campuses at HTB, and I think it is my favorite church that I have ever been a part of. I am so sad to have to leave it!! On Friday, I attended the alternative Good Friday service, which was made up of worship, a message, and creative responses to the Gospel (including a dance, an acoustic version of 'Nothing But the Blood,' and the first half ( ;) ) of a video). I love pausing at Good Friday. It was such a traumatic and horrific event, that I think it's important for us as a privileged, Western church to sit face-to-face with it. Thinking about the horror of the cross, in a way, makes Jesus seem more human. It is the climactic event that most explicitly shows us just how much Jesus loves us. The Romans were the most powerful and wealthiest nation on the entire planet in 33 AD, and crucifying Jesus was the most entertaining and painful thing they could do to Him. He aligned Himself with prostitutes, outcasts, and the oppressed. He wasn't at all attractive. He was born to an unwed mother. And on top of that, He came to claim His Kingdom on a donkey, symbolizing peace instead of war. I'm ashamed to say it, but I'm not convinced someone like this wouldn't make me turn and walk in the other direction. During the sermon on Friday, our speaker asked how such a man could end up as the most wanted person in Jerusalem, hanging on a cross between two criminals in front of the whole entire nation, naked and beaten to the point of being unrecognizable. It makes no sense for an all-powerful God to let Himself come down to earth to do this, and it's scandalous for a King to choose love instead of power. But that's exactly what He did for us. For you. For me. But y'all. SUNDAY IS COMING. The Resurrection. OH BOY GET READY. The Resurrection makes me so excited. The pinnacle of our faith, the reason I choose to get out of bed in the morning. The reason I can smile after being made fun of for sticking with Jesus, the reason I have joy and energy and LIFE. WOW. Jesus rose from the dead, appeared to women before anyone else even though women in the 1st century were unreliable witnesses (He didn't care. What a dude). He appeared to His disciples and left the early church the Holy Spirit to guide us until He comes back. He constantly chose the dirtiest, poorest, shameful nobody's to do His work. I have never, ever wanted anything more than to be used by Him. I can literally feel myself getting more excited as I type this because, friends, this is the reason I am alive!!! This is the reason I WANT to be alive!!! I feel most like myself when I am doing His work. When you've experienced His presence, literally nothing else, not even persecution or even death, matters. Don't you want to feel like that too?
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So, I love Sadie Robertson. A lot. I've been following her career since maybe 2013, when Duck Dynasty was in full swing. I watched her dance on Dancing with the Stars, I bought her book and her school supplies, and I even drove seven hours to meet her at a book signing in Charlotte. Needless to say, when I heard that the Live Original Tour (basically an event with rappers, worship music, and Sadie speaking) was coming to Raleigh, I knew that I had to go. The theme of the whole tour was "United We Stand, Divided We Fall," which is from a Bible story about four oxen. A lion was stalking the four oxen, so to protect themselves, they all stood with their tails together and their horns out. When they argued and went their separate ways, the lion killed off each of them. I'm glad I went because it was AMAZING. There were three things that night that really stuck out to me. 1. Sadie was talking about God-sized dreams a lot throughout the night, and the story that she focused on was Nehemiah, who was the king's cup bearer, and who was tasked by God to lead the people of Israel to rebuild the wall of the temple. The only problem? He had no money. So, The Lord provided Nehemiah with the opportunity to ask the king for help. Long story short, the king sent Nehemiah to build the wall with an army behind him. Sadie shared about her God-given desire to speak, and said when people hear what she wants to do with her life, they say, "What makes you think you can accomplish all of this? It's impossible." "Yeah, exactly," she continued. "That's how big my God is." It gave me goosebumps. I was involved with an event here at UNC last semester called "Carry the Love," and without me even telling her about them, a staff member asked me if I had any God-sized dreams, and then prayed over them. Y'all -- I have no idea how I'm going to do the things God has placed in my heart (LOLLLL) but I am 100% confident that if He wants them to happen, they'll happen. 2. So one of the worship leaders at the Tour was Hollyn (big fan, big fan. You guys have to check her out.) She was talking during one of the songs to people who, as she described, "feel like they are anxiety." "Nothing has you," she said. And then, all of a sudden, she shifted to speaking to people who live in such a constant state of feeling anxious that they don't even realize it anymore. Then she had all of us raise our hands and the band sang over us. Hollyn wasn't necessarily talking about a chemical imbalance kind of anxiety because that can't be cured by simply thinking your way out of it or having someone say nice things to you, but she was definitely speaking to me, and I swear she was looking right at me. I get so anxious about stupid things that my hands shake. There are times where I've worked myself up to such a state about something insignificant that I feel like I can't breathe. I know that many of you probably also experience these feelings, but just know that there is a God who is in control of every aspect of your life. What an awesome reminder. 3. The last part of the evening that really stuck with me still gives me such a sense of peace and contentment. First off, I love, love, LOVE watching people worship. Near the end of the night, the band was singing "Spirit Break Out" and I looked over to the side and recognized one of the other speakers. That's when I noticed that behind him, Sadie was worshiping, dancing, and jumping with the rest of us, her hands in the air. No one else realized it was happening, and it was one of the most at-peace I have felt because in that moment, it didn't matter that she was famous, or rich, or had this huge brand behind her. We were both young adults worshiping our God because of HIM and because of HIS character. The focus was on HIM. It didn't matter how old everyone in the room was, our socioeconomic status, or what our home lives looked like. We were worshiping Jesus for everything that He is. It was so beautiful that it made me cry, and that is a memory that I will treasure for the rest of eternity. Do you like Sadie Robertson? Who are your favorite celebrities?
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AuthorI am a September baby, which may be the root of my love for fall. I love dark chocolate, popcorn, and I do actually like brussel sprouts. I'm the kind of person that listens to a Christmas song in September. (But only one. I don't want to ruin the ~magic~). Archives
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